Ilene Beckerman - renowned author, myth buster
They say an emotional response from books comes when you can relate to one or more of the characters. In that sense, everyone should be able to find something they like in Ilene Beckermans Mother of the Bride, - a mothers story of the surprising, hard, and always loving relationship with her daughter.
Beckerman tackles issues from childrearing to marriage while detailing the aftermath. All the while weaving personal anecdotes into her narrative. Her tone is lighthearted and honest but her analysis is surprisingly in depth. Oh, and did I mention she is hilarious?
Take for instance Beckermans flashback to her younger years.
As a child I didnt like to eat. Whatever my mother made, I hated.
Eat! Eat! She kept yelling.
No, I wont, Id yell back and accidentally on purpose spill chocolate milk
After some unexpected questions about me, Beckerman settles in and says it was her life experience that at 65 compelled her to write Mother of the Bride.
After my first book Love, Loss, and What I Wore, I met young women who were so hard on themselves and full of misconceptions about marriage, Beckerman says. They wanted to be perfect - and I wanted to break their myths.
Those myths were young womens idealized images of what a marriage should look like. Women would create this perfect image and then expect their own lives to meet that standard. Mother of the Bride injects reality into the ideal marriage.
My daughter said she wanted a simple wedding and handed me a list of things to do more days passed, more lists. I bought a two-inch-thick three ring loose leaf binder.
The lesson here is that although only the most desirable points make it into our perfect image, it always gets complicated in practice. Couples end up worrying about all the little things during a wedding, like the flower arrangements, invitations, the menu. The meaning of marriage can get lost on the couple. Mother tells us this, but in the context of a mothers love for her daughter that at times is selfish, at other times warm hearted. The ultimate purpose of Beckermans actions is to see her daughters happy.
This book gives everyone a deeper understanding of his or her mothers point of view, and just for that reason it is a good read. Not surprisingly, Beckermans relationship with her daughters after marriage wasnt always smooth.
Its never going to be exactly the husband you would chose for her, he wont have the perfect car or job - and if he does, youre going to hate them, Beckerman jokes. Our relationship grew very close later on, when I think my daughters realized where I was coming from.
Preparing three of her daughters for marriage has given Beckerman some new insights about weddings, and what it takes to pull one off without going crazy. Her first bit of advice is that what people remember most about weddings are the things that go wrong - so dont worry. No doubt, today weddings are a business and lots of things need to be prepared to host an intricate party. She advises taking advantage of professional services but not getting caught up in the details. Professional caterers, photographers and florists who have experience can often take the hassle out of organizing a big party because they know what tends to work, even if the bride and groom arent sure. It pays off to trust them with their area of expertise while paying attention to what really matters on that day - you and your partner.
Its good to have a party, but think about the vows as much as the menu, Beckerman says.
To proud parents of the happy couple, she says they often get wound up in the events and sometimes try to get too involved. If youre the mother of the bride, no one pays attention to you. You could lose ten pounds and no one will notice.
Its clear from her writings that her daughters weddings reminded her of how much she loved them. That was also a transition in the mother-daughter relationship, where Beckerman notices a certain vulnerability in herself, kind of like realizing her daughter is all grown up and doesnt need her mother as much anymore - its the mother that needs her.
Not that Beckerman has time to worry about it, shes busy taking care of her grandchildren - and perhaps getting an early start on planning another wedding.

About Author

Darek Gondor is a free licensed writer for a www.nuptia.ca

Source: ArticleTrader.com
Read more at: http://www.articletrader.com/society/weddings/ilene-beckerman-renowned-author-myth-buster.html.
 
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